Kiss Me on this Cold December Night
by Spontaneous Me
Summary: Ethan and Jane share some bonding time over the Christmas classic: It's a Wonderful Life. Threw in Benji, an accident-prone Will, and a Christmas tree because I felt like it.


Darkness enveloped the small town. It was barely five o'clock and already the sun had retreated below the horizon. Street lights had switched themselves on a half an hour ago, beckoning the neighborhood children to their homes. Freakish yellow light illuminated the small roads as if it were a twisted Halloween party. One light added to the ghostly atmosphere by flickering on and off like a small child who couldn't make up his mind on whether or not it wanted to stay awake.

From behind the front window Ethan watched its ongoing battle with detached amusement. He stared at it for a while, willing the struggling street lamp to stay lit. He was, as one of his teammates would joke, "Using the Force."

Ethan snorted under his breath. Brandt always did have weird sense of humor.

He glanced down the road for what seemed like the millionth time and sighed when he couldn't see headlights in the distance.

Ethan started slightly when the street light seemingly gave up the fight and went out. Darkness enveloped the street in front of him to the point he couldn't see the houses on the other side. But the light was stubborn, and it flicked back on, bathing the street once again in that friendly yellow light. Ethan let out a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding.

He wasn't _afraid_ of the dark, he had told his teammates a million times. He just disliked it. He knew perfectly well the dangers that lurked in the shadows, and it made him a little uneasy. Jane understood completely, Benji would just shrug and say, "Whatever," but Will would almost always get a suspiciously mischievous twinkle in his eye that would be extinguished the second Jane glared at him. Ethan had to watch himself around the younger agent.

He figured he'd give them another thirty minutes. If they didn't show their smug little faces by then, he would grab the keys and drag them home kicking and screaming.

Only problem was, Will and Benji had taken the car.

Mentally going through every colorful word he could think of, Ethan flopped onto the couch, nudged aside a bowl full of popcorn and rested his feet on the coffee table.

"Feet. Off the table. Now." a feminine voice commanded.

Whoops. He had forgotten Jane disliked feet on the table. Hastily, he set the offending limbs back on the ground as Jane hobbled into the room. She tossed her crutches to one side and awkwardly sat down beside him on the couch. She fumbled with the tv remote_. It's A Wonderful Life_ flashed on screen.

"What time were they supposed to be back?" she asked.

Ethan glanced over. She was trying to hide it, but he knew from personal experience that her broken leg was bothering her. That was the reason for the whole extravaganza. Will and Benji had gone to the pharmacy to pick up some pain medication and Oreos.

"Four thirty," He replied. Jane nodded sharply. Another indication that she was in pain.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I'll be fine when the others get here," she said.

They both watched the movie for a few minutes. They had missed most of it but neither complained. Ethan smiled a little when George Bailey was reunited with his family.

It was Julia's favorite part.

He missed her. He didn't try to kid himself. He missed the way she would make hot chocolate, wrap herself in her favorite throw blanket and snuggle next to him on the couch. It was her own special recipe, made for the times when they watched Christmas movies that always made her cry. _It's a Wonderful Life_ was one of them. He missed hearing her voice as she sang along with her favorite Christmas songs. Michael Bublé had been her favorite artist, and as much as he hated the guy, listening to Julia sing along made it bearable.

Even though it had been almost three years since they—no he—made the decision to fake his wife's death, it still felt like it was yesterday. Some days were easier than others. When he was on a mission, for instance. He would be so caught up in trying to save the world he could almost forget about her.

Almost, but not quite.

Other days, like today, it felt like a punch in the gut to realize that it was only Jane sitting next to him on the couch, and not his wife.

It made for some pretty depressing holidays.

A sniffle.

Ethan jerked his head around with such intensity he actually heard his neck pop.

Jane was _crying._

She was staring at the tv, her eyes bright with tears. Ethan stared, not quite sure what to do. He had never seen Jane cry before. Sure, she had gotten a little emotional on the plane to Dubai, but she never _cried._

Ethan put his arms around her a little awkwardly and pulled her as close as her cast would allow. "It's okay," he murmured.

She sniffled and he felt warm tears fall onto his arm. "It's just..." she whispered. "Christmas Eve... it's supposed to be when you're near the ones you love. Not locked in a safe house with a broken leg...never able to see him again."

"Yeah," Ethan wanted to say more than that, but he found a lump in his throat made it hard to speak.

Jane froze. "You were thinking about Julia," She said softly.

"Yeah."

She sat up, wiping away her tears. She caught his gaze. "You okay?" she asked.

He sighed. "I guess. I thought I would be used to it by now..."

"Christmas without her?" Jane ventured.

"...Yeah."

She sniffed.

"Would this be your first without Hanaway?" he asked quietly.

Jane struggled to control her emotions. "Yes."

"I wish I could say it gets better."

Jane rolled her eyes. "That's lovely," she said sarcastically.

Ethan chuckled, a cold sound, even to him.

"Yeah," he murmured.

"At least you know she's still alive."

"At least you're young enough to find somebody else."

"You are _not_ old."

"Am too."

"Are not."

"Am too."

"Are-" Jane clamped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock.

Instantly Ethan sat up straighter, glancing around the room, searching for any sign of intruders. "What's wrong?"

Jane looked at him. "We were starting to sound like Will and Benji." she said, the corner of her mouth twitching upwards.

Ethan relaxed. "We were, weren't we?"

Jane nodded. Then she giggled. "Wow."

Ethan rubbed his eyes while fighting off a chuckle. It was a losing battle. "They're rubbing off on us," he said.

Jane covered her eyes with her hand and leaned back. "We're doomed."

Ethan looked at her. "And what about you?" he asked, "Are you doing okay?"

She removed her hand and looked at him square in the eyes. Outwardly she looked calm, collected, like an IMF agent who could kiss you and rip your guts out at the same time. But her eyes betrayed the emotion the rest of her body didn't.

"I'll live," she replied.

A thumping at the door made them both jump. Ethan leaped to his feet and dashed to the door; and for the first time in his life he forgot to grab his gun on the way over. But he didn't need it, because he knew exactly who was knocking. He just didn't know _why _they were knocking. After all, they had a reputation for barging in without warning.

He swung the door open to reveal two cold-looking agents and a Christmas tree.

"Hullo, there!" Benji grinned. "Mind letting us in?"

Dumbfounded, Ethan stepped aside and they stumbled in. Benji heaved his armful of groceries on the table and Will dragged the tree through the door, leaving a trail of pine needles in his wake.

Jane stared at it from over the couch. "Where did you get that?" she asked.

"Lowes. Duh," Will stated.

Jane glared at him. "Well, yeah, but _why_ did you get it?"

"And what is all this stuff?" Ethan cut in. He dug through the paper bags, spying lights, a couple boxes of bright-colored ornaments, and a package of Oreos.

Benji threw up his hands. "What, you really thought we would buy a five foot tall tree and _nothing _to put on it?"

"You guys are dense," Will added. He decided to ignore Jane's glare and dragged the tree over to the tv. "How does it look right here?"

"Um, fine I guess..."

Ethan was still in shock, but seeing Jane shift uncomfortably on the couch reminded him of Will and Benji's absence in the first place. "Did you get Jane's medicine?"

"Oh, yeah," Benji reached into his coat pocket and tossed Ethan a white package. "Here."

Ethan caught it and shook his head as he headed into the kitchen.

Benji ignored him and brought out another package. He gave the CD to Jane. "Merry Christmas," he said, "Will picked it out."

"Did not."

"A Michael Bublé Christmas!" Jane cried. She clasped the CD to her chest and gazed at the Brit with adoration. "Thank you." she breathed.

"It's the least we could do for our injured comrade." Benji started looking around. "I know we have a player around here somewhere..." he murmured.

His search was cut short when Will yelped and, in a tangle of branches, fell to the floor. The tree fell on top of him with a loud _poomf._

"Okay, Benji, stop laughing and help him up." Ethan intervened. He handed Jane a glass of water and a couple pills, which she accepted gratefully.

Benji struggled to control his giggling much without success.

Together, he and Benji helped Will set up the tree, but when the time came to decorate Ethan grabbed a cup of coffee and crashed on the couch. Brandt and Benji could do that job just fine without him, though he would be there to intervene if necessary.

He smiled as he watched Will and Benji string the lights. They were bickering like little kids again, and Ethan couldn't help but think back to earlier that night. Heaven preserve the IMF if any more agents started acting like those two.

Jane sighed and snuggled further into the couch beside him. By the look on her face he could tell those painkillers were a gift from heaven.

Michael Bublé played in the background.

When a particularly romantic song started playing, Will mock-gagged and said, "How can you even _tolerate_ this guy?"

Jane stuck her tongue out at him. "How could you not? His voice is so _glorious_," she said with a sigh.

"Says you. I think I might die of the sappiness."

Jane grinned. "One less mouth to feed."

Benji licked his finger and touched Will's shoulder, making a sizzling sound.

Will snorted. "Thanks for the support," he said.

"What are friends for?" Benji quipped.

Ethan rolled his eyes. Benji yelped when a red ball fell onto his foot and broke. Will teased him about killer ornaments. Jane grinned wickedly as she tossed popcorn kernels at the two.

She glanced over at Ethan and smiled. There were still remnants of sorrow in her eyes, but they also held a clarity that hadn't been present earlier. An understanding passed between the two, a mutual feeling of acceptance. As Ethan gazed around the room at his team-his family-he decided even though he couldn't be sharing this Christmas with Julia, this wasn't a pretty bad alternative.

* * *

**First, a huge thank you to the folks over at the Beta Branch for helping me out. You're awesome, guys!  
**

**Check it out, my longest one-shot to date! Whoopee. This idea has been nagging me ever since I saw MI:4, because honestly, aside from that half-scene in the jet, there really is no Jane feels. I mean COME ON! The girl just lost her man! And then there's ETHAN AND JULIA. Don't get me started on those two. We were introduced to this fabulous character in MI:3 and now we're just supposed to let her go? WITHOUT QUESTION? **

**So here is my attempt at a little sobbing-over-lost-love feels. Hopefully I did the movie justice.**

**P.S. YES. In my mind's eye Jane is a HUGE Michael Bublé fan. I felt she needed a little feminine side to her and my older sister was the perfect model (my sister simply goes gaga for Michael Bublé). You'll see more of fangirl!Jane in the future, I ****guarantee** it! 

**Muahahahaaaa...  
**

**P.P.S. Oh, and the word "quipped". I love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. :)**

**P.P.P.S. I don't own Mission Impossible.  
**

**P.P.P.P.P.S. And Brad Bird had better direct the fifth movie.  
**

**-SM**


End file.
